“Friendship … is born at the moment when one man [or woman] says to another “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Frodo and Sam. Harry, Ron and Hermione. Thor and Bruce Banner. My parents. “You are an average of the five people you spend the most time with.” With this statement, Jim Rohn summed up friendship. A friend has impact. They shape and mold you. Below are 8 lessons that I’ve learned from friends throughout my life.
A friend supports – I tried playing football, lacrosse and soccer. I walked on to a club rowing team. I spent afternoons acting with various theatre groups. I couldn’t make up my mind. You know who was always there? My family. They’ve been cheering me on the whole way and their support makes the wild ventures (PB&U) all the more exciting.
A friend doesn’t need a crowd – I spent hours on the trampoline with my neighbour. We’d make up a story and bounce through it. Sometimes the best times are when you’ve got time alone together.
A friend wins with you and loses with you – I learned this one through rowing. It didn’t matter how good you are. It matters how good you are together and how much you’re willing to give each other. In the words of the Temple College Volleyball Team, “Together we stand, together we fall, together we win and a winner takes all.”
A friend cares about the small things – I learned this one travelling with my brother. It wasn’t The Louvre that made Paris or the schedule of places to see that made Hamburg. It was sitting on the Seine eating baguettes and cheese. It was sleeping on his shoulder during a long train ride. Small moments matter.
A friend goes with it – Mario taught me “What! You too?” Keen to ditch class and grab Su Hong? Me too! Have you considered a vegan diet? Sure thing! Sometimes it’s better to just go with it and worry about the consequences afterwards. When it doesn’t go quite as planned see the above point on winning and losing together.
A friend is honest – There is a difference between honesty and the truth. Honesty is what you believe, it is black and white and everything in between. Sometimes with the truth, you lose that depth. A good friend brings that depth.
A friend is unique – “In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.” – Coco Chanel. There are a lot of things that I am not. Fortunately, I’ve been able to surround myself with wonderful friends that are a lot of those things. Their uniqueness, their talents, and their quirks make a good friend irreplaceable.
A friend listens – “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen R. Covey, the author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, emphasises the imperative to listen with the intent to learn. Like a good leader, a good friend listens to learn and listens to understand. They get it.
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You’ll notice that there isn’t anything really negative on this list. That’s on purpose. Nobody would deny that friends go through rough patches. That there are hard lessons to be learned on forgiveness and humility. Simply put, friends lift you higher. They create wonder through being a part of your life. It’s important to not focus on what could go wrong and, instead, focus on what goes right.